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Asking for help when you have Lupus


Most of us just do not like to ask for help, we often feel like we are a burden on other people when asking for it. This is especially true for those who suffer from lupus.

Generally, people think they cannot ask for help because of:

  • They fear looking “weak.” Asking for help is human. It is not a sign of weakness.

  • They worry about having to “owe” a favour. It is important to remember that most people do not keep scores. In fact, many people like the thought of “paying favours forward.” If they help you, you’ll help someone else another time. But if someone does ask for a reciprocal favour, it may make you feel better about asking them another time.

  • They worry about “bothering” someone. Honestly, your family, good friends or co-workers will be delighted to have you specify what they can do to help you if you are struggling with lupus. Those around you are generally aware of your condition and can sometimes see if you’ve hit a bumpy patch. If you let them help you out, they’ll be delighted for guidance as to what they can do to help you.


Whether we have lupus or not, everyone goes through difficulties in life and sometimes it is so much better to take a breath and ask for help. Here’s how to do so effectively:

Be specific. Do not always assume that people will notice you are struggling.

  • If you’ve been sick, you could ask a neighbour if they could stop by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription your doctor has called in for you.

  • Ask a neighbour who loves cooking, if they would mind putting together a meal for you. It could be just an extra serving of whatever is being prepared for their family.

  • Ask family members to walk the dog or unload the dishwasher. Teenagers are notorious for being oblivious to the world around them so talk to your children and tell them exactly what you need them to do.

The more stressed we feel, the more likely we are to say to ourselves “Oh, I’ll just do it myself!” but when you ask for help, you are actually creating an opportunity for someone else to feel good. In actual fact, many people actually feel happier when they are giving or receiving a gift or aid of some type. They will be glad you spoke up about what you needed.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you are wise. Take the opportunity tao ask for help when you feel you need to.


This article is intended to inform and give insight but not treat, diagnose or replace the advice of a doctor. Always seek medical advice with any questions regarding a medical condition.


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